Through the history of mankind, the times that are most recorded in mythology and song are those of great deeds and fantastic adventures. Such a time was the Hyborean Age. Such a tale is the story of “Conan the Barbarian.”
Cimmerian Conan is captured as a child after his parents’ savage murder by raiding Vanir led by Thulsa Doom, head also of the malignant snake-cult of Set. Fifteen years’ agony, first chained to the Wheel of Pain grinding grain and then enslaved as a Pit Fighter, forge a magnificent body and indomitable spirit. Freed miraculously one day by his owner, Conan, with his companions Subotai the Mongol and Valeria, Queen of Thieves, sets forth upon his quest to learn “the riddle of steel” which, his father has prophesied, will confer ultimate power, and to kill the arch-villain Thulsa Doom.
Runtime: 129 minutes
Director: John Milius
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Earl Jones, Sandahl Bergman
MPAA Rating: R
Final Score: 7/10
________________________________________________________________________________ Continue reading “Conan the Barbarian (1982) – August 9, 2018”
Mystery and excitement await as you enter the fantastic medieval world of the Amazons, where magic reigns supreme and betrayal looms at every turn! In order to defeat the evil wizard Kalungo and his vicious minions, the Amazons must recover a talisman sword whose whereabouts have remained unknown for 500 years. Only the beautiful young warrior, Dyala, has the vision needed to retrieve the sword. She is joined on her mission with the lovely Tashi, her sworn rival, on a perilous journey against the power of Kalungo’s magic, the savagery of fierce tribesmen and generations of family rivalry.
Runtime: 75 minutes
Director: Alex Sessa
Starring: Windsor Taylor Randolph, Penelope Reed, Joseph Whipp
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Final Score: 4/10
________________________________________________________________________________ Continue reading “Amazons – June 14, 2018”
Runtime: 85 minutes
Director: Howard R. Cohen
Starring: Rick Hill, Maria Ford, Michelle Moffett
MPAA Rating: R
Final Score: 5.5/10
Journey to a world of magic, where a mysterious woman seeks the mightiest of warriors to lead her dark army into battle. It began as a contest of strength – a brazen challenge to lure competitors from far away into the main arena of a Queen’s castle. Among the warriors stands the champion Deathstalker (Rick Hill) – who defeats all opponents. Mysteriously, combatants disappear from the castle one by one. Now, in a blood chilling Match of Titans, Deathstalker must defend his fellow warriors, his life, and his new found love (Maria Ford) against an invincible army of Stone Warriors and the Wicked Queen who rules them as master.
________________________________________________________________________________ Continue reading “Deathstalker IV: Match of Titans – April 5, 2018”
Runtime: 86 minutes
Director: Alfonso Corona
Starring: John Allen Nelson, Carla Herd, Thom Christopher
MPAA Rating: PG
Final Score: 5.5/10
The third thrilling saga of Deathstalker pits him against the devil wizard and ruler of the Southland, Troxartes, and his band of undead warriors. Dashing Deathstalker is entrusted by the beautiful Princess Carissa to protect an enchanted jewel, one of three, which together hold the key to the lost city of treasure, Erendor. The missing pair of gems are stashed all too safely in the heavily guarded castle of the wicked Troxartes. His mission clear, Deathstalker rouses his troops and storms the fortress with the power of lightning. And in this fateful battle, only one man will survive to witness the magical secrets of Erendor.
________________________________________________________________________________ Continue reading “Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell – February 1, 2018”
Runtime: 89 minutes
Director: Richard Fleischer
Starring: Brigette Nielsen, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sandahl Bergman
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Final Score: 7.5/10
“Danger is my trade,” powerfully built Kalidor proclaims. Based on all his sword-clanging efforts to recover a glowing orb whose magic imperils the world, it’s plain his trade is in demand and thriving.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, who muscled his way into screen action lore as Conan the Barbarian and Conan the Destroyer, returns to the sword-and-sorcery realm as Kalidor in Red Sonja, based on stories by Conan creator Robert E. Howard. Brigette Nielsen is flame-haired heroine Sonja, leading a glorious quest in a mystical land where fortress walls have faces, dinosaur bones form a bridge, a lethal mechanical serpent writhes, swarming minions follow a vile queen… and where heroes lay claim to legend.
________________________________________________________________________________ Continue reading “Red Sonja – January 11, 2018”